“I Just Can’t Be Arsed, Give Me A Shout Next Season” – Ntcham Opens Up

It is no secret that Oli Ntcham has had a serious sulky mush on him ever since his buddy Dembele hit a jackpot contract with Lyon. Celtic fans have been expecting the French midfielder to show up all season but as the French Foreign Legion say, he’s been posted AWOL.

In the very first Glasgow Derby of the season, Ntcham looked like he was about to light up Scottish football. I foolishly told everyone on Twitter and Whatsapp that he was going to be the best midfielder Celtic produced since Paul McStay. Now every time the prick hits a stray pass I get tagged in a 100 screenshots. So what happened? The midfielder has revealed all to French sports magazine “Le Banjo”

French is not my first language, this is roughly what the player had to say:

“It’s hard, you know, Moussa pissed off back to France and left me with Eddie, Eddie wants to have the banter with the Scottish lads, big dope thinks he’s Glaswegian. To be honest, I just sit around playing Pro Evo online 24/7, I have edited all the Celtic players to look like me and Moussa, fuck it. The new manager has come in and gave me a big bluh bluh bluh, I told him, I just can’t be arsed, give me a shout next season, now the fucker keeps including me in the squad as a punishment.” 

If you want to beat Ntcham in Pro Evo his handle is ntcham_dembele2018, be warned, he is shite at that too and doesn’t like losing.