Celtic Fan Makes List Of 26 Players He Wants To “Get The Fuck”

It’s that time of year for the fan end of season squad cull. Most rational people will have a fairly decent list of 5/6 players they’d like to see move on once that summer transfer window opens. Willie Doyle from Ayr, however, is a bit of a mad axe wielding cull assassin.

He simply has no time for players that have not played up to his very high standards. His list is long and he is not a man for sentimental nonsense, but he was decent enough to give a very deep and analytical reason to his ruthlessness.

Gordon – Finished
De Vries – Stealing A Wage
Izzy – Finished
Gamboa – Pish
Hendry – Even Pisher
Boyata – Get rid now
Jozo – Injury Junkie
Toljan – Pretender
Lustig – Finished
Compper – Double Tap to the head
Ralston – Meh
Morgan – Meh
Bitton – FFS
Brown – Finished
Benyu – Gash
Mulumbu – Shite
Sinclair – Bottler
Arzani – What a waste of time
Hayes – His effort hides the fact he is so shit
Scotty Allan – Get ta fuck (he is the leak)
Ntcham – Lazy as fuck
Kouassi – Headless chicken
Bayo – Did you keep the receipt?
Burke – A mini digger has a better first touch
Mikey Johnston – out on loan
Calvin Miller – Stick to Harry Potter movies

Fans seem to find it easier to fire rather than hire so we asked Willie who he would like to see brought to the club in the summer and he didn’t disappoint, “that’s what the scouts get paid for.”